midnight moment

all I want to do is embrace sleep with every piece of my being
yet all I can seem to manage is finding yet another thing to do

--yours truly 
cg
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
It would seem that my insomnia problems are now becoming a too-accepting opinion towards late bedtimes; that even when I feel as if I could so easily fall asleep, so unlike a typical night, I am so accustomed to the passing hours of which I am without control that I cannot therefore willingly turn off the light .

12:03am March 1

away from me, try to plea

intricately,
you break me from the inside out.
desperately,
you cling only to the darkest of these pieces.
carefully,
you remind me of the shortfalls, the times I lost it all.
painfully,
you begin to restore my forgotten resentments
slowly,
you corrupt the will of this spinning mind.
deceptively,
you prepare a tangling, domino effect.
consequentially,
I slip momentarily from His grasp.

--yours truly
#cg

calling it as follows

cancel, split, point, loss, serve, fumble, shoot, miss, short, double, slide.

all this to say,
 dear,
 is game is tied and time's to tell

-- yours truly #cg

nightly noted `▪

just a few thousand kilometers to temporarily satisfy

routine amidst a growing need
to pack myself up, start to leave
& yet I calmly seem to breathe,
chaos facing rare defeat.

I call you by a different name,
it tries to roll, my tongue won't play.
unsettling thoughts soon find their way
& reminiscing starts its game.

second thoughts arrive on que.
shut them out, explore the view.
fresh breath in, the calm ensues.
tossing steadies, all is new.

- cg , yours truly
[ written soon-after arrival in British Columbia ]

proverbial difference

today is different.
different in a way that is unfortunately familiar.
different with its arrival and involvement of another dilemma.
different in its feeling, its promise, its denial.

today is different and I care not to find out why. why is irrelevant, for once this "presence" has made itself comfortable in my veins and thoughts and movements and expectations, I am powerless in reversing its damage.
I am only curious as to how; how this different comes about when I am far from expecting its bittersweet greeting yet again.